Coconut Kulfi in 9 Steps

“The Question of Travel”

“Think of the long trip home. / Should we have stayed at home and thought of here? / Where should we be today?” These are the thoughts that accompanied me as we embarked on an 18 hour long journey to Singapore. Our flight to Southeast Asia was the latest of several cross-continental trips that have taken us and our precious toddler, in the past four years, to Turkey, Japan, Denmark, Spain, and Malaysia. As our daughter comfortably fell asleep on my lap, I wondered, just like Elizabeth Bishop, about the quandary of traveling.

Traveling with a young child is no easy feat. In addition to the excruciating amount of planning, packing, list making, and some more planning; there is an enormous amount of parental self-doubt and guilt involved. I wonder, if it is our selfish need to travel and experience new cultures that is testing our daughter’s limits? Demanding her to go out of her comfort zone, disrupting her regular routine, and forcing her to embrace the realities of a foreign country. For instance, in Malaysia we couldn’t find fresh milk. The popular Malaysian milk brand HL had stabilizers and preservatives in the milk. Our daughter who is used to having Organic Horizon milk did not have any dairy in our week long sojourn in Malaysia, as if she could taste the additives. I know this is a very privileged first world problem, but as parents we couldn’t help ourselves from experiencing pangs of conscience for not providing our daughter with the comforts we can provide at home. But in retrospect, our excursions have taught our young daughter that she cannot always get what she wants.

What childishness is that while there’s a breath of life
In our bodies, we are determined to rush
to see the sun the other way around?
The tiniest green hummingbird in the world?
To stare at some inexplicable old stonework,
Inexplicable and impenetrable,
at any view,
Instantly seen and always, always delightful?
Oh, must we dream our dreams
and have them, too?

My husband and I are drawn to cities which have embraced multiculturalism and diversity. Be it the academic and historic world of the 8th century Cordoba, where Jewish, Christian and Muslim people lived in religious harmony, or the modern day Singapore. Singapore presents a model of multicultural, multireligious society which is not threatened by fear and ignorance.

“In the United States, we call ourselves a ‘melting pot’ of different races, religions and creeds. In Singapore, it is rojak-different parts united in a harmonious whole.” President Obama compared Singapore's multiculturalism to rojak, a fruit and vegetable salad, which is also an ept colloquial expression to describe the country’s harmonious multiculturalism, considering Singapore’s superior gastronomic offerings. Singapore is a captivating blend of colonial history, and Malay, Chinese and Indian cultures. Nowhere is this cohesive diversity more evident than in the country’s famous hawker centres, or indoor food stalls.

But surely it would have been a pity
not to have seen the trees along this road,
Really exaggerated in their beauty,
not to have seen them gesturing
Like noble pantomimists, robed in pink.

Bishop’s poem arrives at a simple answer. We travel because it would be a pity not to. “It would have been a pity not to have seen” Singaporeans from all walks of life, eating a wide array of dishes in the country's famous hawker centres, which are like permanent food festivals. In hawker centres culinary influences from all over Asia are quite evident. One can find Malay satays, fish laksa and Hainanese chicken, along with roti canai, Thai basil omelette, pad thai and som tum. Indian biryani, dosa, tandoori chicken, Chinese noodles and pork dishes, and delectable Japanese custard breads.

- Yes, a pity not to have pondered,
blurr’dly and inconclusively,
on what connection can exist for centuries
Between the crudest wooden footwear
and, careful and finicky,
the whittled fantasies of wooden cages

Our hotel was a walking distance from Lau Pa Sat hawker centre. Even after all these months later, I can still sense the aroma of different cuisines mixed together in the hawker centre. A British structure right in the centre of Singapore’s bustling financial district, a place where colonial history, and cultural diversity come together to play. It is here we witnessed people from different ethnicities gathering under the Victorian Clock Tower to eat from dawn to dusk; a coming together of the past and present. It would have been a pity had we not had witnessed the closing down of an entire street in the financial district, every night, so the locals can enjoy freshly grilled satays of all sorts outside of Lau Pa Sat. They have a community BBQ every night. Hawker centres and communal dining experiences like this ensure that people from different ethnicities and cultures not only work together, but also socialize together. Diversity is celebrated in Singaporean cuisine and its society.

Where else in the world, locals from all walks of life convene to enjoy cuisine from the rojak, harmonious whole, that is the Singaporean society? Here is a country that breaks its bread together, cuisines from different cultures are allowed to intermingle, just like its people. Singapore is the utopian society, which is an alternate reality, in our otherwise politically charged society, straight out of a sordid dystopian future.

‘Is it lack of imagination that makes us come
to imagined places, not just stay at home?
Or could Pascal have been not entirely right
About just sitting quietly in one’s room?

Continent, city, country, society:
the choice is never wide and never free.
And here, or there… No. Should we have just stayed at home,
whereever that may be?

In her poem “The Question of Travel”, Bishop ponders if it is our childishness, dreaminess, or lack of imagination that prompts us to travel? We travel because we seek a world where people can coexist as one, regardless of their ethnicity and religion. We travel because as humans we are more similar than we are different. We travel to seek the familiar in the foreign. We travel to free ourselves from the daily rigorosity of our lives. To rediscover ourselves as individuals, as husband and wife, and most importantly as parents.

I hope our travel experiences help our daughter in forming a universal identity. I hope she grows up to be not from a city, or a country, but from this world. I hope being exposed to new environments make her more adaptable to the unexpected surprises life has in store for her. I hope being exposed to diversity allows her to have a unique perspective on life, which guides her conscience to find solutions that benefit her entire global community.

So without further adieu, I present to you a recipe that’s inspired by our time in Singapore, Coconut Kulfi. This delicious Coconut Kulfi or popsicle will surely provide a reprieve from the heatwave we have been having in North America. The kulfis are flavored with cardamom and rosewater, making them extremely flavorful.

Sesame Bread with Green Onions in 12 Steps

British math prodigy Sufiah Yusof was one of the youngest students ever admitted to Oxford University at the age of 13. At 15, right after completing her third year finals, she went missing for two weeks. After being found, she never returned home, or went back to Oxford; instead she worked as an administrative assistant. She crumbled under parental pressure. Her father to sharpen her focus kept the house temperature cold. She was not allowed to have any social interactions, and was only to focus on math.

Child prodigies suffer from social and emotional anxiety. Adam Grant in his op-ed piece in the New York Times points out that child prodigies rarely become adult geniuses who change the world. They lack social and emotional skills to function in society and excel in professional world. The same can be said of child actors. With the exception of a few, we have seen examples of many child actors marred by drug abuse, and other destructive behavior.

Grant recommends instead of turning children to ambitious robots, it is important to place emphasis on moral values. It is essential for children to have focus, but they should not be in a horse race blindly running towards the finish line without any purpose; without garnering any life experiences. We are so caught up with the notion of getting "there" that once we arrive at the elusive "there", we realize that we are missing the intrinsic value behind our "success". The imaginary benchmarks that we set for our children normally lack moral values. Instead of training them to chase pavements, we should teach our children the moral value behind hard work, the love of the pursuit, and the benefits of making mistakes.

Sufiah Yusof was the basis of Nikia Lalwani's Booker Prize nominated debut novel Gifted. The protagonist Rumi is also a math prodigy. She becomes the vehicle to fulfill her father's unattainable dream of studying at Cambridge, because of financial constraints. Her father in turn shifts the focus on his daughter to fulfill his personal goal that he was not able to achieve. The world may believe that Rumi is a genius, but she feels that her brain is going to explode with the overload of numbers orbiting her mind. Numbers that anyone can memorize with enough time and imprisonment. She is so lonely that she starts anthropomorphizing numbers. 512 is friendly. 7 is lucky, cheeky, and cool; everything she is not.

The Asian diaspora, which I am also a product of, places a lot of importance on education. They believe higher education can deflect discrimination which they experienced when they first arrived in the New World. Education is seen as freedom, but that freedom is tied to family expectations. An A-minus is seen as a badge of shame. The important lesson here for parents is that you do not want your child to be a manifestation of your own lost dreams. Children's achievements should not be a reflection on your parenting abilities. Putting this much unbearable scrutiny on children will result in lack of confidence, and emotional anxiety.

So what can we do to raise children who are able to think outside of the box, and are not encroached by our dreams and aspirations?

Entrepreneur Cameron Herold in his TED Talk suggests that instead of simply handing out allowances to our children and assigning chores (which is essentially training them for a job), we should encourage our children to go around the house, and search for the projects they can do. This will not only foster their interests, but will also teach them the value of doing the work they love. This will also prepare them for pitching ideas, and negotiating the price for their work. He said, it is important to teach them financial responsibility and accountability at an early age.

As far as my three year old is concerned, I do not want her to be focused on achieving A's. It is important for me to teach her how to organize and process information, have confidence, and the ability to ask questions. Instead of squashing her questions, I like to take interest in her childhood curiosities and eccentricities. I do not want her to be a Borg, be part of the collective, and lose her individual identity. (I married a Trekkie).

So after this rather hefty food for thought, let's talk about the recipe at hand. You have probably already seen the video on my Facebook page. Sesame Bread with Green Onions, is a flatbread commonly available in Hakka Chinese restaurants in Southern California. The bread is actually cooked on the stove, instead of the oven. I like to glaze the bread with a teaspoon of soy sauce. I like how it slightly gets caramelized, and increases the flavor profile. Give this easy bread a try, and please let me know how you like it.

Sesame Bread with Green Onions
Sesame Bread with Green Onions.Full recipe coming soon.
Posted by Cultivate Flavors on Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Coconut Chicken Curry in 4 Steps

A father and his son are in a car accident. The father is killed and the son is seriously injured. The son is taken to the hospital where the surgeon says, "I cannot operate, because this boy is my son."

This popular brain teaser, even though very old, is still relevant in our society. Studies have shown that 40 to 70 percent still cannot solve it. The answer in case you are wondering is that the surgeon is the boy's mother. This riddle of sorts brings forth our personal biases, and the presence of implicit sexism that exists in our society. As Adam Grant and Sharyl Sandberg pointed out, "Even when we have the best of intentions, when we hear “surgeon” or “boss,” the image that pops into our minds is often male."

As a parent, I have become more aware of the subliminal messages our society and the mainstream media send out to young children. It really bothers me that all Disney Princesses have tennis-ball sized eyes, which implicitly implies that big eyes are the ultimate mark of beauty. For that reason, I have a lot of appreciation for Curious George and Robert Munsch books. In Curious George stories, the Man with the Yellow Hat's boss is a female, Professor Wiseman. Similarly, in Munsch's story books, there are not only strong female protagonists, but girls are also excused of the responsibility to be the "perfect little angels", to their "trouble-making" male counterparts. 

“I’m studying cardiac regeneration to help repair damaged hearts. It was widely believed that hearts cells could not be replenished, but we’ve used carbon dating to discover cells in the heart that are younger than the heart itself. So I believe it is possible.” 

(Lahore, Pakistan)  - Brandan Stanton of Humans of New York

I was reminded of the aforementioned brain teaser, when I stumbled upon the above photograph by Brandon Stanton. The popularity of Humans of New York lies in the fact that his photographs, and the corresponding stories, not only break stereotypes, but make us aware of our own personal biases. In the above photograph, you do not know which of the two is responsible for the groundbreaking research. And, that is the magic of Stanton's incredible story-telling. 

If you are wondering what to get your loved ones for the holidays, I highly recommend Stanton's new book, "Humans of New York: Stories". The stories are captivating, and illustrate how as humans we experience the same struggles, doubts, fears and foibles. Here are some of the riveting stories that really resonated with me.

And, if you are looking for a comforting autumnal curry, go ahead and make this delicious Coconut Chicken Curry.

Coconut Chicken Curry
Delicious Coconut Chicken Curry. The full recipe will be posted soon on www.cultivateflavors.blogspot.com.
Posted by Cultivate Flavors on Friday, October 30, 2015

Egg Fried Rice in 7 Steps

A plate of food for me is more than about sustenance. It embodies the cook's identity, personality, locality, culture, heritage, and lifestyle. It represents the care the cook put into preparing the dish. 

I recently watched a TED Talk called, "Don't Ask Where I'm From, Ask Where I'm a Local" by Taiye Selasi. Selasi observed that asking someone where they are from is usually a divisive indication, with that question we are trying to identify the 'otherness' of an individual, as opposed to establishing a commonality. Conversely, it can be argued that asking someone about their origin simply represents an innocuous curiosity about the individual's background and childhood. 

But, this question is often posed to ethnic minorities. As an individual with ethnically ambiguous looks, I have been frequently at the receiving end of this question. Although, the said query pays homage to my ancestral background, it does not completely encapsulate who I am as an individual. This question makes us different from others, and on some level indicates that we are not truly from the land we live in. Instead, we have this mythical land to return to. 

Both set of my grandparents were born in British India, but they had nothing in common with other citizens of the Great British Empire. They belonged to the Muslim faith, so in circa 1947, they became part of a new nation called Pakistan. After her exodus from India, my grandmother who was used to cooking Bihari food, started incorporating local flavors of her new land into her cooking. 

My upbringing in multicultural Toronto represents what I cook at home. My travel experiences, and the ubiquity of the ethnic food aisle have made it easier for me to prepare food from places, where I am not technically from, but in some ways a part of, because of the culture I grew up in. 

So without further adieu, I present to you the recipe of Egg Fried Rice, inspired by Thai flavors. You might wonder why I am using three different types of sauces, soy, fish and oyster, when all three of them are ultimately salty in flavor. The answer, my dear reader, is that fish sauce and oyster sauce render a rich umami flavor, and add a level of complexity, to this very simple and quick rice dish. 

Egg Fried Rice
Egg Fried Rice - influenced by Thai flavors.
Posted by Cultivate Flavors on Friday, October 23, 2015